I drank tea, three cups, this evening. I painted my nails twice to make sure that I didn’t miss any spots. I then decided that I really don’t like the color but taking it off seemed like too much work. I read a book that I haven’t read since I was a sophomore in high school. It made me nostalgic and even more lonely. I texted you to see what you were doing but you never texted me back. I paced around my cramped room which only made me feel claustrophobic. I wanted to go home but technically, I already was. I need to find out what home is because it certainly doesn’t feel like here. My beta fish is going crazy. He gets hyper at nighttime, all excited and worked up for nothing. What can he do anyways? All that is there for him in the world is to swim around his bowl in circles. I feel like my life resembles his sometimes. Then I try not to, knowing that nothing good will come from feeling sorry for myself. I could change my life, steer it into a direction that I am happy with, at least for that moment. But then I just pick up my cup of tea and settle back into my perfectly made bed, wondering why I even bother to make it. After all, it’s going to be destroyed when I go to sleep anyways. My mind swirls around faster than my soul feels like keeping up. I am overwhelmed. I am lonely. I am missing out on what I should and could be doing. I am in a funk that I can’t understand and can’t get out of.
button
